Mar 29, 2007

10 More Signs You're a Bad Bartender

While I try not to ride coattails too much around here, Darcy over at the Art of Drink recently posted a brilliant list of 50 signs you are a bad bartender. One of my worst character traits is that I'm hypercritical when out drinking (although I'm sure some could name other traits of mine that are far worse), but I'll tell ya: this list rings frighteningly true. I could probably keep adding to Darcy's list until I'm blue in the face, but I'll leave it at an additional ten:
51. You serve your friends first, no matter how long other customers have been waiting.

52. When you're in the weeds you never look up.

53. You fail to survey the entire room on a regular basis.

54. You let the drunk creep at the end of the bar harrass the woman sitting by herself trying to read her book.

55. When your beer pours foamy you just let it run from the tap, instead of checking your lines or gas.

56. You don't know how to check your lines or gas.

57. You don't cut enough fruit for the night shift (if you're an opener).

58. You leave your dirty shift-off dishes in the sink for the opening bartender (if you're a closer).

59. You fail to ring out and/or re-bleach your bar rags regularly.

60. You can't be bothered to wash the soap/sanitizer/lipstick all the way off your glasses.


Dave C. said...

Oh my god, 57, 58 and 60 are grounds for an ass kicking, for sure.

I've got another one...

61: You cheat your partner(s) bartenders out of their share of the tips and short change your tip outs.

Stephen Beaumont said...

Good one, Jessie. This list-making thing seems to be contagious, though...

Jessie Jane said...

Haha, seriously guys—these things could go on and on and on!

Dave, when it comes to the money end of the job, that's a whole 'nother animal. I think I need to devote a whole post to that.